Diario de Sharons Victory, 19 mar. 19

I would definitely agree but I'm not sure if it that is a "universal truth" or if it's just associated with a certain mindset. Like maybe it's just a certain section of the population?? I know that eating badly (not what I want to be eating or how much) makes me feel ashamed and makes me a billion times more likely to binge eat. The more I eat, the more ashamed I get, the more I eat. Also whenever I get The Sad...that seems to really trigger the binge and the sadder I am, the more I eat, the sadder I am. Which will then trigger the shame and so on and so forth...which definitely has made it harder for me to stop the cycle. Also thirst! I talk about that a lot! 

I don't think I can say I've ever "binged" by definition. But, I would call a binge eating the doughnut I know I'm not supposed to have or the pizza crust I said to my self I wasn't going to eat and then eating it anyway a "binge" for me. And yes... I usually feel shame or guilt... I tell myself it's a yet another long line of set backs and part of the reason I struggle so much. But, I've done it multiple times... and honestly... Even is the meal is " what I supposed to have" I still doubt if it's the right thing. It's a difficult line between not being making my self miserable and trying to have a life... not feeling bad about making that balance is hard for me.  

binging is a form of self abuse to me...I think...it goes above and beyond eating a serving of something you shouldn't...it starts like that but then I feel so upset over it I abuse myself with food! Wow..even saying that is so profound to me to realize that. It's like I think "oh you like that unhealthy food? Here...eat it until you're sick" and I'm angry with myself and disgusted with myself and it's like Katie said up there..the more shame I feel the more I eat and it just keeps going until I eat so much I get physically ill and physically uncomfortable because I've eaten a huge slice of cake, an entire loaf of French bread with butter, and half a pizza and 6 cookies...seriously.  

I signed up for counseling but they can't get me in until April...going to finally get help with this!!! I can't wait! It'll really help me A LOT to have this under control because I'm perfect other than those days/weekends and they're what's holding me back from extreme success 

I experienced this but I am hoping this app can help me. 

One thing I try to remind myself of is that I have no control over what I WANT, but I do have control over what I put into my face. I am getting better at recognizing when a single serving won't do and acknowledge that I need to eat until I'm sick, and then I find something that is less damaging, like carrots, or celery or even apples. No, it's not good for me to do it, but at least it isn't raw pie crust or an entire cake. Just not doing it is too much for to deal with sometimes and simply have to choose the lesser of the bad choice.  

Yes. 

Con - interesting!!! I've never even considered binging on other stuff!!!! That is SUCH a great idea!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!  

When I eat, my family either A) Comments on how fast or how much I'm eating, or B) comments on the healthy food I chose. I feel like a circus freak no matter what I do. So I eat in private. Which leads to a certain comfort relationship with food. 

Sharon. It is a well known concept in the world of obesity management. 

When I was 4 years old, my mother made chocolate mousse. As it was setting in the refrigerator, I took a little 4 year old finger swipe out of it. When she saw what I had done, she screamed and raged at me, then sat me down at the kitchen table and made me eat the entire bowl. And that’s how you create an eating disorder! Shame, guilt, sadness etc, stuff your face full to the point of sickness, while telling yourself what a piece of shit you are. Oh man, it’s taken me 44 years to unlearn this self abuse. Only now can I say that I love myself too much to ever do this to myself again. What helped me was thinking of myself as that sweet little 4 year old, and not wanting to put her through that guilt and shame ever again. My mother taught me how to hate myself with food and I’ve taught myself how to love myself with food. It’s super F’ed up. 

Mine is more like yours - self abuse. But I also identify with the feeling like a circus freak.  

I have a lot of memories of shame and guilt at the dining room table...mainly just abuse that took place there and I'd get so upset that I'd want to throw up and getting sent to my room without dinner and feeling ashamed for feeling hunger very strongly but knowing I couldn't let them know how hungry I was 

then when I got my own money food was no longer controlled by others and I went crazy...and I think that has sort of stuck with me...there's a freedom in binging and a form of control 

I noticed a connection with shame as well. But, I think it's partially a form of abuse, or self harm, as has been mentioned. I used to self harm in other ways because I felt a lack of control over my feelings and emotions. I turned to food later on through strict restriction to extreme binges. I have to say, I noticed that whenever I feel trapped in a situation (ex. the current state of my body - have an argument I can't escape), I do tend to binge as well. I find that recognizing the feeling of an oncoming binge and trying to disrupt the pattern (ie. do something to break the cycle - Make a really strange and silly dance - get away from the usual binging environment) helps tremendously. Best of luck  

My issue is anger. Whenever I get angry I want to eat. What has taken me awhile to realize is that anger is what shows up when I am hurt. Which I think shame would be in that category also. So what I have been doing is trying to be slow to become angry and when I do that, it helps me not want to eat so much. My guess is that shame is a trigger for mostly women because they are taught to be sweet and not show anger very much, so they tend to go to shame. I have three girls, the only one with a weight issue is the oldest, who is an extreme introvert who runs at any type of conflict or outbursts of anger. I could be wrong on my observations but it does seem to ring true for me.  

In most cases it has to do with comfort and what comfort zone u have to be able to escape into. One of the most common ways to satiate the body is through food so its those desires that trigger when we r going through something emotionally painful. 

mrsroboto your story if being four years old and going through that broke my heart. I can’t imagine...I hope your mother has made up for that since. Sad...so sad. ❤️ 

I've been diagnosed with both BED and AN at various times in my life. At one time I say I can maintain weight only while BED and AN fight for dominance. It sucks and I feel shame surrounding eating all the time, every day of my life.  

I've been a "secret eater" since I was a little girl. I was 7 yrs old the first time I got caught bingeing on Easter basket chocolate. I finished all my own and then ate my sister's chocolate bunny down to the "nub" the day after Easter. I don't know what triggered it, but I was humiliated when I got caught. I can name *dozens* of incidents of secret bingeing over my lifetime, whether caught or not. My best guess is that I want "something" -- a real "treat" -- all to myself, for myself. But I sense that it's something much deeper.